In Which I Make A Public Confession of My EVOLUTION…

Jan 28, 2022

My Favorite Words Have Four Letters

My writing depends upon capturing the reader’s attention, so I am, occasionally, deliberately provocative. My goal is for readers to viscerally experience what I need them to understand, and shock can be useful.

Artwork by @created.for.glory.lettering

DONE (Four Letters)

Where once I bowed my head, I am now DONE:

deferring to the opinions of others,
making peace at my own expense,
unflinchingly waiting my turn without complaint, and
expecting reciprocity,

Boldly I stand, in the image of the All-Wise and Loving God, Imago Dei, the Divine African Feminine Pillow upon which I kneel in supplication and gratitude to offer my petitions. (As each of us is Imago Dei, this is whom I see in the mirror.)

I Don’t Exist Where Once I Did Anymore.

My evolution, the gradual process by which I shed the habit of hiding leaves in its wake a woman far more essential, complex, stronger, happier, and wiser than ever. She, whom you thought you knew, is gone. As I declared on the first day of this year, “mine has been an evolution from retreat to advance.

HEAR (Four Letters) What the Spirit is Saying

It is not lost on me that a fellow wordsmith, just a day ago, laid my favorite words over me in the casting of a vision she could’ve known nothing about (I see what You did there, God.) I understood what receiving these words meant, and I should warn you, gentle readers….y’all ain’t ready.

“I am going to do something new. It is already happening. Don't you recognize it? I will clear a way in the desert. I will make rivers on dry land.”

Isaiah 43:19, GOD'S WORD® Translation

God patiently worked in me, deep work. I kept warning you, but you weren’t paying attention. To be frank, as evolution happens gradually, I wasn’t always paying full attention either.

There is an old joke about the number of therapists it takes to change a lightbulb. The answer is only one…but the lightbulb has to WANT to change. God does not, and never has needed our participation. However, for my evolution to proceed, I had to be a willing co-creator with God, yielded, open, still.

HOWEVER, first I had to confess that I could NOT be God.

I was never in control.

I never had any of the answers, as much as I might have pretended to the contrary.

So, Let’s Talk Divine Co-Creation

You show up.

That is all.

I showed up. I confessed to God that I was ready, mostly willing, and available to do the thing I could best do entirely alone.

NOTHING.

I Confessed to God that I Needed God Because I Am Not God (full stop)

I am also professing that henceforth, no one gets to take the shots at me that all your predecessors got to take. I am NO LONGER your target. Miss me.

In the words of Prince,

“I know from righteous, I know from sin. I got 2 sides and they both friends,”

meaning I am, and always will be flawed, frail, and “beautifully human.” Meaning that I know holy (four letters) and I know ‘hood, (four more) and what you should never do again is mistake my silence for anything besides my being quiet.

That is all.

The reason you can’t hurt me is that I have hidden myself. I asked God,

“Keep me as the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings.”

Psalm 17:8 NKJV

The most powerful lesson ever learned took me the longest and yet will be the most transformative of all. In making the public confession of my evolution, from good girl to Holy BadAss, I have finally,

FINALLY

learned to get out of my own way in order to Watch God Move.