Bellows
https://youtu.be/FtyKCT16NtA
For National Poetry Month we're reposting this amazing poem by Anita Scott. #poetrylife
Be the bellows of my soul.
Be the bellows in my soul.
Be the push and the blow that reconciles gaining with letting go,
releasing while receiving.
Be the reason that hope lives in tears.
Be the One who steers
the rudder of my soul
when the waves crash up against the sea
when I cry out like another one of Your disciples, “Jesus, are You still with me?”
and shake my head in anguish
because what I thought I knew has begun to panic
because the rug I thought was magic
was really only compounding static
moving, but lacking in purpose
so so much of what I thought I knew was just white noise rehearsing
to solicit my daze and and my attention
and blind my gaze and my vision
so I could look, but I couldn't see
not with so many lies staring back at me.
The road was bleak, but I couldn’t even tell.
My eyes were weak
like under a spell
and then You bellowed. . .
and the attachment to lies not only mellowed
but ceased really fast
and I quickly turned my gaze to the One who will last.
and then You bellowed. . .
and my walls fell down and I prayed prayers I had been afraid to utter
but this time when I prayed I bellowed them loudly even with a stutter
but You let me know that that didn’t matter because I had finally opened up the shutter
of my heart that had been so reclusive
and then You bellowed. . .
and all I wanted to give You was access that was inclusive
I no longer wanted to pretend You hadn’t seen my mess.
Yeah, but not just seen it, but You were it.
That cross that You carried was when you bore it.
Why was I pretending I needed to hide and store it?
I take a selah and a lean back.
I rest my chin in my hands to a future flashback.
That’s how You’ve won me.
I was Yours before I was here.
You saw me even before I could see clear.
Talk about a dead man walking, I was dead while acting alive
and that’s when You chose to die for me—check out Romans 5.
You didn’t give up Your life when I surrendered mine;
You sacrificed Yours even when I acted like things were just fine.
You saw mess and fell in love.
I felt love and decided to run.
You saw me and said, “Ah, My Bride!”
I saw You and chose to hide.
You saw love.
I screamed in fear.
You saw marriage.
I drew tears
because Your closeness was just so much.
I didn’t think I was worthy of such
unconditional love and affection
not with my blatant attempt to turn our marriage into separation
but You thought of that too,
deciding that neither death nor life
could separate me from You.
Check out Romans 8:32.
and then You bellowed. . .
and stole my heart from senseless attractions.
You bellowed. . .
and now I’m wondering what took me so long to give You all of my satisfaction.
You bellowed . . .
and blew life into me.
You bellowed. . .
and it’s only by Your Breath that I can give you my heart so sincerely.